The Last Sermon

The Last Sermon

Bishop Ken has never had problems writing sermons. One day he is rushing home to draft one, but when he finds his wife and daughter crying, he struggles for the whole week to come up with one. Now, he has a few minutes before he stands to deliver a sermon that addresses his personal issues, congregational and national concerns.

“Let the weak say, ‘I am rich.’ “

“Let the poor say, ‘I can see,’ “

“Let the blind say, ‘I am strong,’ “

“It’s what the Lord has done in me…”

Bishop Ken smiled as he attempted to bring his mind back to its body. Those near him were too focused on their singing to notice his rendition of Hillsong Worship’s ‘What the Lord Has Done in Me.’ He thought of the show he would have caused if they had been singing a popular Swahili chorus that is often accompanied by forward, backward, sideways movements and sometimes for him, emptying pockets in proof that there is no other equal to Jesus.

His eyes strayed from the lyrics projected on the overhead screen to the shoes of one of the worship team leaders. He could almost see the reflection of the microphone. In less than 30 minutes, as he delivered his sermon, his pair of shoes would replace the worship leader’s. He felt all the eyes and TV cameras glued on him in a competition of who would finish a full body scan and get the scoop of his sermon. But he was certain his wife and daughter’s had better things to focus on even though they were seated two rows behind him.

Today was one of those days he was reminded of how divinely inspiring the decision of the church to change the sitting arrangement was—the pastoral team, elders and deacons now sat with the rest of the congregation. Previously, they would be on the raised stage, facing the congregation.  This meant that when the female-dominated choir was presenting, standing in front of them, the default screen saver was the posterior anatomy.  Over the years, that had not been much of a problem until a female guest musician presented a single from her bestselling album. She had squeezed her body into a nightwear that passed for a dress, then trapped particular regions for effective display. As an accompaniment to her vocals, she wiggled and gyrated. This prompted a deacon to comment that the Holy Spirit had been denied full access. The bishop then told the congregation that the church had decided to change so that the pastoral team and church leadership would sit with the congregation. In private, however, he told his colleagues to anoint their eyes and cleanse their imaginations. 

Of course the bishop meant to save the pastors and male-dominated church leadership from themselves and the Evil One. In one meeting, the bishop was categorical. “The swirling rumours are too many to be ignored — pant-less pastors, nude choir girls and ushers, and impious activities on the pews and offices.  Involving body organs and fluids is taking fellowship too far. It is time for each one of us to bear his own cross; to pray for the recalcitrant organs, anoint them, and if need be, take them to the altar for special prayers.”

Ken, a senior pastor then, had a major struggle not to burst out laughing. He had a clear image of some taking turns to present their minds, hearts and other offending organs at the altar. He saw some hopping up and down and others elevating their crotches. Even today, the flash of that image caused him to search for a quick distraction to restrain himself from bursting out in laughter.

He looked at his notes. The two scriptures and a few doodles stared back at him. On another Sunday, his notes would have rivalled a thesis. Still, he remained hopeful of a revelatory word.

His mind moved to seven days ago, when it all started.

To read more, buy the story on Amazon or Draft2digital.

Martin Mburu

Judge Dogood © is a fictional character created by Martin Mburu

One thought on “The Last Sermon

your niecePosted on  8:24 pm - Jun 11, 2021

You truly have a way with words… Keep at it

Joy MusyokiPosted on  6:54 am - Aug 26, 2021

This is a really good piece.

IrakiPosted on  9:12 am - Feb 5, 2022

Brilliant, profound and inspiring story. Asante for sharing!

Leave your message