
Human Gas
Dogood got a much sought justification for obsessing and talking freely about farting. This he got from an unexpected quarter: church and not a scientific study. He learnt about a spiritual dimension to passing gas. So as not to offend the imaginations and sensibilities of the noses, which have been enjoying some unexpected protection due to Covid-19, we will use the term human gas instead of farting. The masks have saved noses from the vagaries of air pollution.

And it is human gas expelled from the posterior region not the mouth. Human gas is still spoken of as a taboo subject; however, that can all change in a flash should scientists convince us of the benefits of human gas. For instance, if scientists were to tell us it has some ozone layer healing properties—properties that directly counter the effects of the methane produced by cows—our perception would change. Should such a study be published in a refereed journal, it would be a competition to ensure humans outgas cows. Or if another group of social scientists convince us that passing gas is therapeutic and enhances mental health, then all would be encouraged to release at will. For many of us a scientific explanation and justification is all we need for something to become acceptable.
With the newfound freedom and confidence, Dogood came up with three main purposes of human gas.
Entertainment: See how children enjoy doing it, and the laughter that follows. Grownups enjoy it too, but in private. Caution: there is a thin line between entertainment and offence. For the desired effect to be achieved, the gas has to be the loud type, rumble and thunder. As a source of laughter, one perceives with the ears and eyes first. However, if the nose is involved first because of a silent stinker as the eyes dart around to identify the offender, then that ceases to be a source of entertainment and becomes a biological hazard. A biological weapon.
Biology: This is the obvious and most known purpose. As people muster the gastronomical releases, they choose the type of entertainment they wish to achieve by choosing the types of foods to eat. Foods like beans and sweet potatoes would put one in a premier league of belching cows. Indeed, there is a list of foods the royals are not meant to eat when they have public engagement lest they become gassy.
Spiritual: It is a sign of deliverance. The passing of gas indicates that an oppressing influence or an unclean spirit has been expelled. This is quite involuntary. Thus it is difficult for charlatans and other fake deliverance ministers to fake during prayers. They can shout, scream, intimidate, twist body parts, or push so that when the person being prayed for falls in a heap, they will claim divine slaying, but they can’t force one to pass gas. This should explain why in church or during prayers at times the valve can open releasing all types of sounds, whistles and smells. It can also happen when one finds themselves next to a true servant of our Lord: an anointed minister.
Such a servant need not do anything special — read clowning and gimmicking of camera-loving and publicity-hungry of many in the deliverance ministry. In fact, such a faithful servant could be oblivious of how their Spirit-filled presence is liberating those around them as they read a newspaper, play with their phones or attend to other spiritually unrelated activity. You remember the story of Peter’s shadow and Paul and handkerchiefs in the book of Acts. Human gas then becomes a physical sign of spiritual liberation.
One thought on “Human Gas”
The phone dealer.Posted on 4:26 pm - May 24, 2022
Wonderful and a deep revelation.
Imagine of the stomach as the soul. Where we feed everything we hear, see or think, evil and bad. The soul will definitely need the deliverance ” farting” and the relief is the same to the sinner’s deliverance of sins.
MachariaPosted on 4:26 pm - May 24, 2022
Wonderful and a deep revelation.
Imagine of the stomach as the soul. Where we feed everything we hear, see or think, evil and bad. The soul will definitely need the deliverance ” farting” and the relief is the same to the sinner’s deliverance of sins.
Martin MburuPosted on 5:21 am - Jun 6, 2022
Thank you, Macharia. You get it!