Judge Dogood Accused of Practising Witchcraft

Judge Dogood Accused of Practising Witchcraft

Have you ever been accused of practising witchcraft? Yes, I have.

And I am not talking about behind the scenes, hidden chatter and gossip, no. I am referring to a straight up face to face accusation.

Image Credit: pixabay.com

On a fine Tuesday morning I was walking to my car. I was preoccupied with my warm thoughts which were warding off the freezing air outside. Ahead of me in the parking lot, John, my neighbour, was already driving out. But on seeing me he stopped and stomped out.

“Good morning, Judge Dogood. It is good I have seen you; I have been meaning to talk to you.”

John’s words were coming out so fast, that I could only nod my ‘good morning’ response.

“Dogood, it is morning, we are both in a hurry, so I will go straight to the point: I want that special protection you have for your car?”


“You know what I mean. I have seen how you lock and unlock your car.”

“Oh, about that—“

“You don’t think I have noticed you stopped locking and unlocking your car from your bedroom?”

John’s determination was only marched by the torrent of words. He was nearer and stood between the car and I. The man wanted his answers. But I had to wait for him to give me a chance to respond. I was reminded that he was also observant. Yes, those days the car was new, I would try to lock and unlock it from a kilometre away.

“I saw you do the same thing at the mall yesterday. You go round the car pressing—“

He had fully refreshed my memory.  “John, my good neighbour, I get it.” The only way out was to interrupt him and give him what he wanted. “Someone stole my car antenna.”

“You are lying!”

“I am being truthful with you. I have to be near the car, pressing key as I search for the signal. In fact, the main challenge is that the signal plays hide-and-seek with me.”

John opened his eyes wider and spread out his hands as if he was about to make a quick prayer. “Please share with me and I can even that special protection at home and in my business.”

I looked at him, his car, his house, and the garbage outside the gate.  “I have been honest with you, but If you insist, let’s remove your car’s antenna.”

Martin Mburu

Judge Dogood © is a fictional character created by Martin Mburu

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